Fonzie Gets Drunk
by MysteriousWriter1127
Summary: Due to having a cold, Fonzie refuses to cancel his date, so he drank the entire bottle of cold medicine without realizing that theres alcohol in it. Positive reviews please!


Fonzie had just walked out of his "office" that day at Arnold's and used his fist to turn on the juke box to make it play. Then he sat at the booth as Al comes out with food for Fonzie.

"Thank you Al," Fonzie said hiding his happiness to keep cool as the food came.

Richie came in and said sitting down across from him, "Hi Fonz."

"Why hello Richard," Fonzie said sarcassically taking a bite of his cheeseburger.

"Think you can do me a favor?" He asked.

Fonzie looks at him and finally said, "Anything for a friend."

Richie then explains, "I'm gonna be taking Lori Beth out to Guiliano's restaurant tomorrow night. And she was a little nervous about it unless you and your date can come with us. We're gonna double date. I already put you up with Margret Davidson."

"Margret Davidson?" Fonzie asked dropping his burger back onto the plate in shock. "You mean that spoiled rich bratty blonde?"

"Yeah… Why is there a problem?" Richie asked.

Fonzie stood up and said, "Conference time Red." They walked into the men's room. But Fonzie came back out and took the plate with the burger on it and walked back into the men's room.

"There something wrong Fonz?" Richie asked a little concerned.

"I have been asking her for a date, but she refuses because of my 'image', and when I noticed her the other day at Arnold's, all she ate is lettuce from her sandwich, and what's worse, she wiped the grease off of it."

Richie looked at him confused.

"And her folks don't like me either. I went over to their house to talk with her, but then I was whacked on with a bat multiple times y' know, like Laverne and Shirley."

Richie stifles a giggle.

"This ain't funny Red. I had a huge bruise on my arm! Anyways she's the only girl that I have turned down with."

He looked over and Fonzie and then said, "Well I talked it over and she said she will go out with you."

"You did?" Fonzie asked suddenly and immediately hugs him.

Richie stood there in shock and said, "But I promised her one thing."

Fonzie breaks the hug and asked, "What?"

"She said, 'I will go as long as you put him on a leash.'."

That made Fonzie go over to the sink and broke the faucet with his strength and anger.

"But she will go," Richie said finishing.

Fonzie looked at him slowly. "I know that Red. But she thinks I'm a dog in need of training?!" He then took a deep breath calming down and leans against the wall.

Richie then changes the subject looking out the door, "There's Potsie and Ralph. We're gonna set up to sing." He noticed Fonzie leaning against the wall with his eyes half shut.

"You alright Fonz?"

"Yeah I'm fine Red."

Concerned, Richie placed his hand on Fonzie's forehead which is cool.

"Feels alright to me," Richie said still concerned.

"Do me a favor and don't touch my forehead or i'll shove the faucet down your throat. Dig?" He said threateningly to Richie who immediately takes his hand off of Fonzie's forehead.

"Oh. Sorry."

"I'm alright Rich. Think it's a cold coming on. It's the start of cold and flu season y' know."

"But it's summer Fonz."

"I know that..."

The next morning, Fonzie opened his eyes finding himself wrapped tight in covers like a cocoon.

He looked over to the clock seeing that he overslept for 2 hours. He's late for work.

He panicked and untangles himself immediately getting out of bed. But as he took the blanket off, he feels so cold he starts shivering. He mumbles to himself, "What's wrong with the season…" He got up and went to the bathroom to get ready as fast as he can before leaving to get to work.

As soon as he came, he immediately got right to work. But then his sinuses are diving him crazy while working on over 5 cars and fixed them.

Soon, it was finally lunch break and Fonzie tries to breathe through his nose, but it's stuffed.

The boss then asked coming over, "Are you alright Fonz?"

"Aaaay i'm good. I only got a few hours left. I'm just gonna fix a couple more cars," Fonzie said his voice a little nasal and then sneezed.

"You sure? You don't sound like yourself. I think you caught a cold."

"No. No cold! The Fonz never catches a cold!"

His boss then asked, "Are you sure about it? Maybe you should go home and get some rest."

"Rest?" Fonzie scoffed. "The Fonz does not require rest."

"Please. I want you to go home and get better. Ok? I'll take care of the rest of the cars."

Fonzie was going to protest but sneezed again.

"Bless you," his boss said. "Please go on home."

He looked at him giving up and nodded. Fonzie got out of his uniform and put his jacket on. He went to look in a mirror in the office noticing his nose is red. He tries to ignore it. He wouldn't be sick.

Then he came home went to the medicine cabinet and took a teaspoon of cold medicine before climbing back into bed about to take a nap. But then there is a knock at the door.

Fonzie squeezed his eyes tight hoping someone would go away, but gave in sighing, "The Fonz is free, come on in."

The door opened and Richie came in.

"Hey Fonz," Richie said cheerfully.

Fonzie mumbles into his pillow. "I knew I should've put a 'Do not disturb The Fonz' sign on the front door."

"What are you doing home so early?" Richie asked.

Fonzie then said, "Boss let me go for the day. Was going to catch forty winks."

"You sure your alright?"

"I'm fine Cunningham!" Fonzie shouted nasally sitting up and then coughed.

Richie went over to him and asked, "You sick?"

"No. It's just a cold," Fonzie said after finishing coughing. "I decided to go to bed just so I will be alright for tonight."

"Actually Fonz, I think your too sick to go. i'll call Margret to cancel the date."

After hearing the word "cancel", Fonzie immediately shouts, "NO! Let me tell ya something. The Fonz never, and I mean ever turned a chick down."

"Fonz you have turned them down before," Richie said.

"Family emergency, taking on responsibilities," he immediately replied laying back down.

Richie took a deep breath and asked, "Are you sure your alright with going out on a date?"

"Yeah. As long as I got some sleep. Now will you get out of here and leave me alone?"

Richie nodded and then left Fonzie to rest.

Later on, Fonzie got dressed after he woke up from a 3 hour nap. He kept coughing and sneezing while getting ready. He went down the list of all the things he does while preparing for a date like taking a shower to perk up. He puts on the aftershave and his leather jacket. He looked in the mirror again. He looks horrible. He got purple bags under his eyes, his nose is still red.

Sighing he looked over at the bottle of cold medicine, he thought to himself, "I need to get better soon! I never turn down a date ever!" He took another teaspoon and thought to be on the safe side… He drank the entire bottle. He didn't see the effects of drinking the entire bottle, but he is desperate. Desperate to get better and fast!

He left his apartment and went down to the Cunningham's and find Richie, Lori Beth, and Margret sitting on the couch waiting for him.

"Had to prepare myself," Fonzie said excusing himself and went to Margret and smiled. She looks pretty in a pink sparkly, fluffy dress, her blonde hair in curls.

"Hi Maggie," he said.

"Hello Arthur," she replied back. "It's Margret. Not Maggie."

Richie then said standing up with Lori Beth, "Alright, are we all ready? We're going in my car. We're going to Inspiration Point after a nice dinner."

Fonzie then smiled at his date and wraps an arm around her as they leave. Margret looks uncomfortable and disgusted by Fonzie's appearance and tries to ignore it.

As soon as they get in the cars, with Richie driving and Fonzie next to him and their dates in the back seat, Fonzie's vision starts getting fuzzy.

In minutes, they made it to the restaurant and sat at the table and the host gave them menus.

"Well, what are you going to order Lori Beth?"

"I think i'll just have the lobster Alfredo," she replied giving him a kiss.

Richie then smiled, "I'll have the same. What are you gonna have Fonz?"

Fonzie looks over at the menu… That's upside down.

He replied, "Is this restaurant Italian or Chinese?"

Richie looked at the menu and then said, "It's upside down Fonz." He rotates the menu the Fonz was holding.

"I know that," Fonzie immediately said looking at the menu.

The waiter came over to the table and asked, "May I take your order?"

Margret then said, "I will have just a small salad with no cheese, no tomatoes, no croutons, and no cucumbers. Oh, and can you make the lettuce a little bigger and please don't add dressing."

Lori Beth replied, "A lobster Alfredo, with a side salad."

Richie then said, "Oh i'll have what she's having."

Fonzie replied smiling, "Just give me a chicken parmesan. With a side of spaghetti and tomato sauce."

The waiter got it all down and then walks away.

Fonzie then asked Margret, "How come your just going to eat a salad? Love the greens huh?"

"I'm only watching my weight," she answered.

And Fonzie starts to laugh uncontrollably causing the others to look at him as if he were strange.

Margret then said, "I don't know why that's so funny Arthur."

"Awww c'mon! Lighten up! And if you have to eat so much lettuce, you'll turn into one!" And then he laughs. "Y' know, i can really picture you as a lettuce right now!" He said using his fingers to make a square looking to his embarrassed date.

Richie looked at Margret who's feeling a little hurt and disgusted. He immediately stood up and said, "Fonz! I want to talk to you! Conference time!"

"Yeah, you go ahead. I'm just gonna hear a funny story about how her parents are treating her when she'll become a lettuce!"

Lori Beth and Margret look at him in shock and Richie pulls Fonzie up from the seat and took him by the hand and drags him to the men's room.

Fonzie walks in and leans against the wall looking all tired and dazed and Richie comes in.

"What the heck is wrong with you Fonzie? Don't you know your insulting your own date?"

"Cunningham… She's no fun…. I'm the one who's the life of a party!" Fonzie slurred and then chuckles.

Richie then said serious, "Fonz. This is really starting to scare me. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine…" Fonzie said tugging on Richie's tie. and bring him closer. "Just after drinking a whole bottle of cold medicine… I'm alright! I feel this stupid cold starting to go away!"

Richie's eyes widened. Arthur Fonzarelli is drunk!

"You drank the whole bottle of cold medicine?!" He shouted in shock.

He replied in a high pitched voice, "Yeah…"

"Fonzie! You do realize what happens after drinking the whole thing?! There's alcohol in that stuff! Your drunk!"

"No I'm not!" Fonzie argued.

"Yes you are!" Richie argued back.

"No i'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"I swear to drunk i'm not god!" Fonzie slurred frowning with annoyance.

Richie sighed and then holds up three fingers to make sure Fonzie really is drunk. "How many fingers am I hold up?"

"Aaay that's simple. One!" Then he smiles at the answer.

"No. It's three."

"Then that makes four! Aaaaaay!" He gives himself the thumbs up even.

Richie looked away nervous. Fonzie is really out of it. Like really really out of it.

"Look Fonz. I'm gonna have to take you home alright?"

"No way Cunningham! The chick never turns down a Fonz!"

He then sighed dragging him out of the bathroom, "Alright, after we eat, we're going home. Forget Inspiration Point."

As soon as they came back tot he table, they saw the food is there.

"Oh wow! That was fast!" Richie said cheerfully like nothing happened.

Lori Beth smiles over it. "Smells delicious."

Fonzie was going to eat his food… But buried his head into the pasta eating it.

Lori Beth noticed it and immediately shouts a whisper, "Richie!"

He looked at her after swallowing and she points at Fonzie with fright and he looked over at him face planting the pasta and then hissed, "Fonzie! What are you doing?!"

Fonzie then sat up with tomato sauce all over his face and mumbles, his mouth full of food, "Forks are for squares y' know."

Margret looked at him and immediately stood up saying, "I think I'm just gonna go outside until your finished."

"You just wanna because your boring y' know," Fonzie shouted after swallowing. Richie immediately tries to wipe the tomato sauce off of his face with a cloth.

She stopped, looked back and asked getting furious and insulted, "I'm boring?"

"Yeah you are! Your boring because you don't have anything fun to talk about! And the way you dress! y' know Boy, you sure did blow off your bank account to look like a poodle y' know!" He slurs a rant.

She starts getting insulted and angry while he continues.

"And your parents are boring too! Except they kept beating me up with bats! Boy did they eat green vegetables too like Popeye?!"

She gasped very insulted.

Richie immediately said trying to stop him, "Fonz."

"That makes loads of sense because all you eat is the greens y' know! I bet they're gonna turn into lettuces just like you!"

Getting angry, Margret slowly went over to get her glass.

"And let me tell ya something! Out of all the dates I've been with and kissed with. You are the most boring date I have ever been with all my life! All I wanna do is inspiration point in kiss you!"

Margret then shouted, "KISS YOU!? KISS THIS HOODLUM!" As she said that she hurls the drink from the glass to his face. The customers look over to see the commotion.

Fonzie then laughs. "So now you want to have fun?" He said and takes a handful of spaghetti and flings it at her curls.

"MY HAIR!" She shouts angry. "YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS FONZARELLI!" She takes a handful of salad. "HERE! EAT MY SALAD SINCE YOU TALKED ABOUT IT SO MUCH!" Then she throws it at his hair. And then he immediately kisses her on the lips and she slapped him hard.

Richie and Lori Beth immediately went in between them to stop them.

"Let's all just calm down! Calm down!" Richie shouts hoping that things will get better.

Fonzie's face suddenly turned light green feeling dizzy.

"Fonz?" Richie asked looking concerned over at his appearance, "You alright?"

Just as Fonzie was about to reply, a wave of nausea hit and then suddenly felt his stomach go right onto on Margret's dress.

She shrieks with fright and disgust drawing attention from the other customers. Lori Beth was shocked as well and so was Richie.

He immediately shouts to Lori Beth, "Get him out of here! Give him fresh air!"

His girlfriend went over to Fonzie who still looks pale and walks him out of the restaurant while Margret shouts and cries over her dress. Richie then said to the waiter, "Can I have a glass of water and give it to the man outside? And a check?" He takes a napkin and starts wiping the vomit off of Margret and she still shouts, "It's making it worse!"

"I'm so sorry Margret! Fonzie has a really bad cold and he drank a whole bottle of cold medicine. And-." Richie tries to explain but Margret shouts.

"DON'T EVEN START WITH ME! I TOLD YOU TO PUT YOUR FRIEND ON A LEASH! AND NOW YOU OWE ME 50 DOLLARS FOR THIS DRESS!" The she starts to walk out of the restaurant.

"I can drive you home!"

She whirled around with a red face in anger and said slowly, "I can walk myself home. Thank you." And then she storms out leaving Richie.

He paid a check and went outside to find Fonzie and Lori Beth sitting on the bench, his head resting on her shoulder and her hand rubbing up and down his back.

Richie walked on over and asked, "How is he?"

"He passed out. We oughta take him home before he causes anymore trouble." Lori Beth said and he takes one of Fonzie's arms and put it over his shoulders and Lori did the same for the other and put him in the backseat.

Richie explained what happened the whole way home and brought him to his apartment. They took him out of the car and up the stairs and through the door of Fonzie's apartment.

Lori Beth said really shocked turning on the lights, "I can't believe he was drunk!"

"He was having a bad cold so he drank too much cold medicine and overdid it," Richie sighed putting Fonzie in the chair to the table before unfolding the sofa bed. He sighed pulling off the covers as she asks, "I guess Inspiration Point is off huh?"

"Yeah," he said sadly when she sat in another chair rubbing Fonzie's back. "Oh Lori Beth, I'm so sorry this date has been a bust," he apologizes as he takes the pillow out of the closet and puts it on the bed.

"Oh it's alright Richie. It's not your fault. Neither Fonzie's. It's just what it is. I'm gonna make him some coffee. Ok?"

Richie nodded before she walks out and he takes Fonzie's arm and put it over his shoulders and walked him over to his bed and laid him down on his back.

He mumbles, "Your gonna have one hell of a hangover…"

Only about a half hour later, he heard groaning coming from the bed. Richie looked up from his book finding Fonzie waking up. Richie is sitting in the chair waiting for Fonzie to wake up so he can explain what happened.

He opened his eyes and sighed drowsily.

"Hey Fonz," Richie said coming over.

"Rich? Is that you?" He asked slowly.

"Yeah it's me Fonz. How are you feeling?"

He squeezed his eyes tight and groaned. He has a terrible headache and feels tired. He replied, "Like I just rode the Tilt-A-Whirl nonstop. Keep it down will ya? And can you stop the room from spinning?"

Richie ignored it cutting to the chase, "Fonz… Do you have any memory from hours ago?"

Fonzie shook his head trying to think but his head hurts. He then asked, "Did I miss the date?"

Soon Lori Beth came back with a pot full of coffee and put it in a cup and gave it to Fonzie to make him feel better. while he was drinking the coffee, they explained the entire scene at the restaurant.

After they finished, Fonzie then said embarrassed after sipping a cup, "I can't believe I tossed my cookies onto Margret's dress! That's uncoolamundo."

"You know what else is uncoolamundo?" Richie said imitating him a little bit, "Drinking the entire bottle of cold medicine! That's what else! Can't you just admit that mistake!"

Fonzie shook his head at first. Richie frowned at him and he sighed, "I was wrrrr…"

"Say it," Richie urges him to.

"I can't and I never will!" Fonzie said crossing his arms after giving Lori Beth the cup.

Richie sighed giving up. "Fine."

He then sighed, "I guess Margret won't speak to me again, huh?"

"Yeah she won't."

He sighed looking around and then back at Richie feeling bad.

Richie assures him, "Don't worry Fonz. Margret isn't a really cool chick anyways like all the others. She's just full of herself, and she's very selfish."

"But she looks half like Marylin Monroe," Fonzie sighs looking up and back to Richie.

"Yeah she does. Too be honest, she does deserve to be thrown up on and have spaghetti in her hair," Richie said smiling and his smile fades, "Except I owe her 50 bucks for the dress."

"I threw spaghetti into her hair?" Fonzie asked suddenly sitting up.

"Yeah you did," Lori Beth said. "And you kissed her."

"I kissed her?"

Richie replied, "Yeah. Just before you threw up."

Fonzie then grinned, "At least I finally got to kiss her..." And then he frowned slowly, "But I won't remember it at all..." He then groaned. "They really should've put a warning label on that bottle of cold medicine."

Lori Beth poured another cup and gave it to Fonzie saying, "Bottoms up."

He then took another sip.

"I feel like it's all my fauuu..." Fonzie started before taking another sip.

"For what?" Lori Beth asked.

"Ruining your date," he replied taking a deep breath.

Richie said, "No you didn't Fonz. I actually knew this date wasn't gonna be great anyways, besides Margret wouldn't go to Inspiration Point."

Fonzie thought for a moment and then nodded.

"How are you feeling now Fonzie?" Lori Beth asked after he finishes drinking all the coffee.

Fonzie yawned covering his mouth with his hand, "I gotta be honest y' know. I feel tired..."

"Get some sleep," Richie said leaving with the coffee pot and cup. "Feel better Fonz."

Fonzie laid down and Lori Beth tucks him in and kisses him on the forehead like a mother to a child. At first he thought he would do it himself cause he's annoyed for the fact that he feels like an uncool little kid, but it's nice of a girl to put him to bed. Besides, he's too tired and hungover to do anything for a moment. He closed his eyes and was asleep in seconds.

Richie quietly came back in and asked his girlfriend softly, "How is he?"

"Just sleepy," she replied getting up and giving Richie a kiss on the cheek. "I think he'll be alright in about two days."

Richie nodded agreeing. "Why don't we go downstairs and leave him alone?" He suggests after hearing snores from the sofa bed.

"Yeah," Lori Beth whispers as he turns off the lights and they quietly walk out the door.


End file.
